Learning from dragons

I've put down the fiction, both reading and writing, for a brief sojourn into the real world.  Sort of anyway.  I've picked up Enter the Dragon, or How I transformed my life and how you can too by Theo Paphitis.  It's a much lighter read than you might think and although I'm not far into it, I'm already thinking a lot as I go.

The first thing that's really struck me is the obstruction faced for being in any sort of minority - you might be a foreign national, or you might have a disability - you're an outsider whatever your pigeon hole is.  I'm born and bred here, but the constraints are still all too familiar and getting moreso.

Another thing that occurred to me is that being good at school might not have done me too many favours in the battles I now face to get beyond those obstructions.  I got too comfortable at school, knowing that I would pass my exams and always get a good report.  Add to that the fact that all I'd heard from grandparents from an early age was "when you go to university" so to my mind, there was no alternative.  I was also influenced to take up purely academic studies that did not exactly catapult me into a glittering career.

Although we had hard times when I was very young, I was never allowed to feel the pinch.  I was aware of money troubles, but by the skin of Mum's teeth, the children were never made to feel poor.  Whilst I'm hugely grateful for being spared, at the same time I wonder just how much more enterprising I might be if I'd been really made to go without or live in less comfortable conditions.  I didn't ask for much as a kid anyway.  I wasn't worried about what everyone else had.  I was aware that most people had video recorders and satellite or cable TV while we had an old TV set, an analogue aerial and that was it.  But I didn't miss what I'd never had.  I still don't concern myself about having the latest thing, even though until recently I could afford to have it.

Perhaps a lack of envy is at the root of my lack of enterprise.  If I've got enough to get by, that's ok.  If I have enough to get by and buy nice gifts, even better.  If I have enough to do both of those and not panic when something happens requiring cash input, brilliant.  I need only keep going and know that the battles have been fought for now.

But when times get tough, as they are right now; when I can barely afford to hold on to what I've got - that's when I lament a lack of entrepreneurial spirit and wonder how much the early years of my life might have left me less well equipped to compete.  Illness I can handle and that's largely owing to those early years - a just get on with it mentality is all I know.  Getting past the just get on with it attitude and finding the support I need is something that just doesn't come to me naturally.  The get out there and make something of yourself and your life drive was never installed.  Instead we were set up with the basic work hard, pay your way, retire, die package.  That's all very well until you face a period where things are not that straightforward.  So I suppose I'm now rebuilding and reinstalling the enterprise version and finding out what more I can achieve while achievement is still something more than waking up and making it down the stairs on my own.

But then Theo himself has already said, his own brother was a career civil servant and they had the same start in life.  So I might be looking at the nurture and neglecting to look at the underlying nature.  The ideas are there.  The ability is there.  Will I take a risk?  That's a good question.  That's a point where I can't distinguish nature from nurture.  I do know that putting myself forward and especially first was not encouraged.  I've never in my life asked for a promotion or a pay rise (I mark myself down at annual review time and I know I shouldn't be thinking like that).  I've never even looked for another job while I was already employed.  It's that be humble and don't be ungrateful message engraved inside my skull.

Is there any point trying to install a different mentality when the voice of my conscience is the voice of my Grandma and she would tut if I wanted more?