Heart? You mean I still have one?

Been getting some very unusual drum solos from my heart for a while.  There's no explanation for them.  When I get too warm, off they go and I may or may not faint.  One day it's tachycardic with atrial fibrillation (rapid, shallow beat with some fluttery fills Lars Ulrich never thought of). The next it's bradycardic with canon waves (very slow almost flat-line beats with sudden bass booms that are so huge they're painful).  So see the doctor?  I have.  Going for monitoring, or more likely a preliminary to monitoring, on 21st August.

Threw the technical terms at the GP.  He said don't you use those dirty words to me.  I said I didn't think he'd recognise the tracks I'd use to describe the timing on the beat.

Long and the short of it is we don't think it's the heart itself.  We think it's the dodgy electrics.  Whether that can happen depends on which 'expert' you ask and which journal/study you read.  But these are the known points we're working from:

• It only happens when I get too warm.  We know that my electrical signals are impaired at these times. 
• The nerve that would be responsible runs through the brain stem.  My brain stem is lit up like a Christmas tree on the scan results (I've seen them - it's just one big mess).  
• There are other symptoms I experience that also correlate to that nerve (you don't want to know, trust me).  An ECG is completely normal.  
• Blood pressure and pulse are normal (for me, half dead for most).  
• There is no specific condition that causes a heart to go first one way then the other like this that is not related to the electrics supplying it.

I mentioned it at clinic and they said they would write to the GP but never did.  So I went to see him and set it in motion myself.  Familiar territory there.

Before we can write to the neurologist and say read this study, we need to rule out anything else.  So I have to go in to be hooked up to machines for 24 hours to monitor what happens.  Unless I get too warm, I guarantee it'll be a nice, steady chart but because I'll get no caffeine, the blood pressure will slowly fall even further until they panic and think they need a crash cart.

The only problem it really causes right now, other than distraction and discomfort (those canon waves really hurt), is fainting.  Thing is, you can be just about anywhere and get too warm very quickly.  I don't like fainting.  It's not only a silly, girly thing to do, but it's also quite unpleasant and usually results in  getting hurt not to mention losing your last meal when you come to.  We still need to know what's going on though.  So off I go for another barrage of testing.  At least they can find a heart, so there's hope for me yet.